EVERYBODY BREATHE!

I'm sure that if you live in Memphis, you've seen this floating around the last few days:

TERRIFYING!!!

Apparently, I'm the only person who has sense enough to actually, you know, do research on things that concern me. So to simplify the process for the rest of the world, here's why you need to calm the fuck down about the ASD grading scale:

1. This grading system is only being used by schools deemed "failing" and are now under state control. The entire Shelby County School system is NOT, I repeat, is NOT converting to this new grading scale.

2. It's only being used for K-8. Grades 9-12 are still under the old grading system under state law because those grades have be uniform across the state and this grading system is, I repeat, RESERVED FOR "FAILING" SCHOOLS

3. The reason for the switch is that they were noticing that A and B students weren't achieving above average scores on their state exams. They were actually scoring MUCH lower but their grades weren't actually reflecting their true proficiency of the standards (part of the reason why they are NOW under state control)

So untwist your undies people. All the schools aren't adopting the new scale. Nobody is "lowering the standard." Feel free to call all your relatives and brag to all your co-workers about how your kid made the Principal's List and how it still "means" something. I strongly suggest, however, that you make sure your "A" students really understand their curriculum and aren't just really, really good at busy work.

And I'm not talking out of my neck. This information can be found here: 

Vocabulary Words Your Kids Can Learn From Disney Movies (Part 3)

Whew! That was quite a hiatus between the last Disney Vocab entry but here is the another entry in the series. Enjoy!

1 & 2. Flotsam and Jetsam (/ˈflätsəm/; /ˈjetsəm/) - n.  In maritime law, flotsam applies to wreckage or cargo left floating on the sea after a shipwreck. Jetsam applies to cargo or equipment thrown overboard from a ship in distress and either sunk or washed ashore. The common phrase flotsam and jetsam is now used loosely to describe any objects found floating or washed ashore.

Can be heard in: "Poor Unfortunate Souls" - The Little Mermaid (1989)

Flotsam! Jetsam! Now I’ve got her boys!
The boss is on a roll!

I never realized those creepy eels had sea inspired names until I was older. What interesting names for such unsavory henchmen. 

3. Forlorn (/fərˈlôrn/) - adj. Pitifully sad and abandoned or lonely; Unlikely to succeed or be fulfilled; hopeless.

Can be heard in: "A Star is Born" - Hercules (1997)

So don’t lose hope when you’re forlorn 

Just keep your eyes upon the skies

4. Horrid (/ˈhôrid/) - adj. Causing horror, very unpleasant or disagreeable.

Can be heard in: "The Gospel Truth III"- Hercules (1997)

Though Hades’s horrid plan 

Was cast before Herc cut his first tooth

The boy grew stronger everyday

And that’s the gospel truth

5. Nouveau Riche (/ˈno͞ovō ˈrēSH/) - n. People who have recently acquired wealth, typically those perceived as ostentatious or lacking in good taste.

Can be heard in: "Zero to Hero" - Hercules (1997)

From appearance fees and royalties

Our Herc had cash to burn

Now nouveau riche and famous

He could tell you what’s a Grecian urn

6. Parapets (/ˈparəpit/) - n. A low, protective wall along the edge of a roof, bridge, or balcony

Can be heard in: "Out There" - The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

Safe behind these windows and these parapets of stone

Gazing at the people down below me

7. Prattle (/ˈpratl/) - n. Foolish or inconsequential talk

Can be heard in: "Poor Unfortunate Souls" - The Little Mermaid (1989)

Yet on land it’s much preferred 

For ladies not to say a word

And after all dear, what is idle prattle for?

8. Repent (/riˈpent/) - v. Feel or express sincere regret or remorse about one's wrongdoing or sin.

Can be heard in: "Poor Unfortunate Souls" - The Little Mermaid (1989)

But you’ll find that nowadays

I’ve mended all my ways

Repented, seen the light, and made a switch

True? Yes!

9. Reprimand (/ˈreprəˌmand/) - n. To reprove severely, especially in a formal or official way. 

Can be heard in: "Part of Your World" - The Little Mermaid (1989)

Betcha on land they understand

Bet they don’t reprimand daughters

Bright young women sick of swimming

Ready to stand!

10. Sinew (/ˈsinyo͞o/) - n. Vigorous strength; muscular power; a tendon.

Can be heard in: "One Last Hope" - Hercules (1997)

It takes more than sinew

Comes down to what’s in you

You have to continue to grow

There's still more! Stay tuned for the final installment in the "Disney Vocab" blogs! ^_^

A Letter to the New York Post

I was all over my mock outrage over some of the dumb dumbs in the Whovian community when I had the displeasure of reading this article about the upcoming Syfy show Heroes of Cosplay courtesy of a reviewer at the New York post:

"Click the headline to read this garbage."

If the headline isn't proof enough, Ms. Linda Stasi is a terrible writer. She's also a terrible reviewer as that entire article is less about Heroes of Cosplay and more about how she thinks cosplay is a stupid, stupid thing. She tries, and fails, to do it in a subtle way but the disdain bleeds through in every single word. So, I have decided to do something I rarely do. I am going to write a letter! I thought I'd hash it out here and see what you think.

To Mr. Mike Shain:

It is very rare that I feel insulted to the point that I feel compelled to speak about a matter but today I am very deeply offended by the poorly-written article "Syfy looks at world of make-believe reality in 'Heroes of Cosplay'." I am cosplayer and a writer myself and I was taken aback by the unabashed disdain that dripped with every word written by Ms. Stasi. I understand that she is a reviewer and reviews are written purely based on the opinions of the writer; however, what Ms. Stasi wrote was not a review of Heroes of Cosplay. What she wrote was a passive aggressive article on how she finds the art of cosplay itself to be a ridiculous affair. I have never seen a review NOT review the show that the article is supposed to be written about. Nowhere does the article indicate the content of the show, the format of the show, or even the time that the show airs. You have to give the article more than once over to see the premier date of the show stealthily packed away beneath Ms. Stasi's photograph.

No, instead of being treated with an insight on what to expect from Syfy's newest television show, we are treated with such barbs as, "I'm so confused--or maybe they are," and "The weird thing, (well, all of it is weird), is that these folks really want to the fictional characters they portray." She rudely paints a picture of cosplayers as delusional lunatics who spend all of our money on costumes with no regard to anything else. I can assure Ms. Stasi that we are all quite well aware of the difference between reality and fantasy. I wake up every morning wanting to be Alexis Partee (and I still am). I know I am not Storm from X-Men even though I have cosplayed her on several occasions. Is cosplay expensive? Yes it can be, but like people who collect guns or buy beat up classic cars to restore them, we plan for the finances we need to set aside for our hobbies. Individuals like Ms. Yaya Han have turned their hobby into a business. She makes money doing something that she enjoys. She has the kind of job satisfaction we all wish to achieve.

We are cosplayers and maybe it is a hobby that Ms. Stasi or others may not understand but we are still people and we should be treated and written about with some level of decorum and respect. Ms. Stasi failed in both regards. I sincerely hope you take this into consideration before you decide to allow anyone who writes under the New York Post banner to post something like this again: "Human decency doesn't mean you have to like what other people do; it only requires you to respect their right to do so."

With Regards,

Alexis Partee

Not bad, eh?

Doctor Who Doesn't Care About Diversity

Yesterday was a watershed day for the Whovian community. The BBC announced the successor to Matt Smith in the iconic role of The Doctor. In case you live under a rock or you're a part of that depressing to think about group of people that hasn't seen Doctor Who, it's this guy:

"Who-verse. I am in you."

Hello Peter Capaldi! The Who-verse welcomes you with open arms!

Oh wait...

"Well fuck you too!"

I can get over that stupidity rather quickly. I'm not a slobbering fangirl that sits around oozing over how hot David Tennant and Matt Smith are (I think Chris Eccleston is the hottie out of the three, for the record). I enjoy the show because I can watch it with my kid and she doesn't complain about it be boring and/or terrifying. 

Besides, people always complain when we get a new Doctor. We go through the stages of mourning the old Doctor, hating the new Doctor, and then hating to see the new Doctor go.

"Yep, that about sums it up."

Ever since Matt Smith announced that he was leaving, fans have been prattling off their wish lists of who they'd like to see as the new Doctor. They wanted the show to do something progressive like make the Doctor a woman, or a minority, or gay, or...dare I say it, a GINGER (le gasp)!

So when they got Peter Capaldi, there were some up in arms over the fact that it was another, sigh, white guy. 

The nerve of the BBC! Don't they know what era we live in now? It's not the 1960s anymore! How can you ignore DIVERSITY!

"Well fuck you too."

People that are complaining about the Doctor being a white man and crying out for "diversity" are completely ignoring the fact that the show has quite a diverse cast.

"Don't mind me. I'm just passing through."

They are also completely ignoring the fact that the genre of Science Fiction has always been ahead of the curve when it comes to diversity among its cast:

"An Asian! Ohh Myyyy!"

The first televised interracial kiss? A Science fiction show:

"It's hard NOT to kiss James T. Kirk"

Interracial relationships? Sci-fis got them:

"Best. Couple. Ever."

But wait! What about LEAD roles!

"My brain can't process all the stupid around here."

And here's a woman. They also have those:

"Try not to think about it Sisko. It'll only make it worse."

And just because, Lando FREAKING Calrissian:

"A man so smooth, nobody questioned the fact that he stole Han Solo's clothes."

Science fiction has always been a step ahead of everyone else and yet somehow, we still have a clutch of people determined to find SOMETHING to be offended about. Diversity isn't shoe horning someone into a role to make a political statement. Doctor Who isn't the right avenue for political statements. It's a British Science Fiction show designed to appeal to all ages. It shows that different kinds of people exists all around us and we should treat them with respect, much like our dear Doctor does.

Unless they're Daleks, Weeping Angels, or Cybermen. Fuck those guys.

As long as he was the best of all the actors that auditioned, then I welcome Peter Capaldi with open arms!

We won't know what kind of Doctor Peter Capaldi will be until his season airs. Let's hold back our "I don't like hims" for when we see him in action. I know it's a novel concept but just try it.

"Come on! LOOK AT THIS GUY! How could you NOT like him?"

And if you INSIST on complaining about something, HE IS STILL NOT A DAMN GINGER!

"Soon, Rupert. Soon."

I Am Obsessed with This Particular Exchange of Dialogue

I am just now realizing how amazing Venture Bros. is. I've been watching the first two seasons over and over again for the last few weeks. This one of my favorite dialogue exchanges. Poor Doctor Orpheus. I love that guy!

Dr. Orpheus: "That's why I've been looking everywhere for their souls because I accidentally resurrected their bodies!"

Dr. Venture: "Wait, you saw their bodies?"

Dr. Orpheus: "Saw them? I made them a fucking milkshake!"

Dr. Venture: "Nice. Way to go Brock!"

Brock: "Must have been that power surge."

Dr. Orpheus: "Who is your grief counselor? Mother Teresa?!?"

- Venture Bros, Season Two, Episode One, "Powerless in the Face of Death"

Vocabulary Words Your Kids Can Learn From Disney Movies (Part 2)

As promised, I am back again with more SAT caliber vocabulary words your kids can learn from Disney movies! Make lexicographers out of your offspring!

1. Deplore (/diˈplôr/) - v. Feel or express strong disapproval of (something)

Can be heard in: "Topsy Turvy" - The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

It’s the day we do the things that we deplore
On the other three hundred and sixty-four!

2. Expectorating - v. Cough or spit out phlegm from the throat or lungs

Can be heard in: "Gaston" - Beauty and the Beast (1991)

In a spitting match, nobody spits like Gaston!

I’m especially good at expectorating!

3. Façade (/fəˈsäd/) - n. An outward appearance that is maintained to conceal a less pleasant or creditable reality.

Can be heard in: "Belle" - Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Now it’s no wonder that her name means “beauty”

Her looks have got no parallel

But behind that fair façade

I’m afraid she’s rather odd

4. Joie de vivre (/ˌZHwä də ˈvēvrə/) - n. Exuberant enjoyment of life.

Can be heard in: "Human Again" - Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Cheeks a-blooming again, we’re assuming again

We’ll resume our long lost joie de vivre 

Too bad this one got left out of the original theatrical release. It is a really great song and it was seemlessly integrated into the movie:

5. Menagerie (/məˈnajərē/) - n. A collection of wild animals kept in captivity for exhibition; A strange or diverse collection.

Can be heard in: "Prince Ali" - Aladdin (1992)

When it comes to exotic types mammals

Has he gotta a zoo! And I’m telling you

It’s a world class menagerie!

6. Paragon (/ˈparəˌgän/) - n. A person or thing regarded as a perfect example of a particular quality; A person or thing viewed as a model of excellence

Can be heard in: "Gaston" - Beauty and the Beast (1991)

For there’s no man in town half as manly

Perfect, a pure paragon!

7. Provincial (/prəˈvinSHəl/) - adj. Of or characteristic of people from the provinces; not fashionable or sophisticated; Limited in perspective; narrow and self-centered.

Can be heard in: "Belle" - Beauty and the Beast (1991)

There must be more than this provincial life!

8. Revile (/riˈvīl/) - v. Criticize in an abusive or angrily insulting manner

Can be heard in: "Out There" - The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

Out there they’ll revile you as a monster
Out there they will hate and scorn and jeer

9. Uncouth (/ˌənˈko͞oTH/) - adj. (of a person or their appearance or behavior) Lacking good manners, refinement, or grace.

Can be heard in: "The Gospel Truth II" - Hercules (1997)

He ran the underworld

But thought the dead were dull and uncouth

10. Unnerving - v. Make (someone) lose courage or confidence

Can be heard in: "Be Our Guest" - Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Life is so unnerving to a servant who’s not serving

He’s not whole without a soul to wait upon

Still more to come!!!

Why Is This A Thing?

If you're a member of Geek community, then I'm sure you've caught wind of the "Cosplay is NOT Consent" Movement. Here's a good article that explains it if you're not familiar. Essentially, the movement's purpose is to raise awareness of inappropriate behavior towards costumed congoers and, hopefully, prevent it from happening. The objectification of women in geek culture is, sadly, nothing new. I've gone on tirades before about women finding themselves having to prove how "geeky" they are in order to battle the myth of the "Fake Geek Girl." I've talked until I was blue in the face about how pursuing popularity in the cosplay community has practically destroyed it.

I really didn't think it was possible for anything to take all three of these things that I DESPISE about the geek community and roll them into one.

Yet the universe has managed to surprise me again.

May I present for your disapproval, The Miss Nerd America Contest.

It's a beauty pageant for nerds geek women who, according to the site will be awarded points for, "intelligence, nerd cred, and nerd beauty."

I didn't realize there were subcategories for beauty. Is nerd beauty different from regular beauty? Is nerd beauty supposed to be on such a lower scale from regular beauty that you have to point out that it's specifically nerd beauty?

They had subcategories for winners before: Miss Sci-fi/Comics, Miss Literature, and Miss Math and Science Nerd. These were replaced with the "adorable" and diminutive, "Miss Nerd America Princess!"

Are you kidding me?

Naturally, there are already a sizable number of entries from women whose pictures vary wildly in content: from simple and straightforward profile picture-esque shots to boudoir-quality shots in cosplay.

What I can't figure out is why? I'm sure there are some women who'd get a kick out of entering in a nerd beauty pageant (I'm calling it what it is, because a half-naked picture will probably get more votes than a woman that's a rocket scientist for NASA on this thing because voting for the winner is open to the public) but who is running this thing? That's the first burning question I would have to ask myself before divulging my personal information on poorly, cobbled together website.

Who IS Groovy Nerd Media? I haven't been able to find ANYTHING of note about them and their website is about as informative about them as their Facebook page

So a couple of guys running a computer business started the Miss Nerd America Contest  Geek Beauty Pageant to crown the Miss Nerd America Princess and give her and her royal court an Amazon Kindle and some (apparently) much needed nerd cred?

Okay....

Why is this a thing?

Vocabulary Words Your Kids Can Learn from Disney Movies (Part 1)

This will soon become abundantly clear, but I really, really like Disney movies. A sizable percentage of my music library is Disney music. On one particularly boring night, I wrote the lyrics to every song in Robin Hood (except "Whistle Stop" because I hadn't figured out a way to phonetically write a whistle).

I know the words to a lot of Disney songs but that hasn't always been the case. When I was a kid there were quite a few lyrics I could never make out. I did the usually kid thing and just cobbled together some syllables I thought sounded like whatever Robin Williams was singing and kept rolling. As I got older, I began to realize that the reason I didn't know what they were saying was that there were some seriously amazing words stuck in there that were WAY beyond my 6 year old mind.

So I now present to you a list of vocabulary words that your kids can learn from Disney movies:

1. Amorous (/ˈamərəs/) - adj. Showing, feeling, or relating to sexual desire

Can be heard in: "Prince Ali" - Aladdin (1992)

Prince Ali, amorous he, Ali Ababwa!

Heard your princess was a site, lovely to see.

2. Asunder (/əˈsəndər/) - adv. Apart, divided; into pieces

Can be heard in: "Prince Ali" - Aladdin (1992)

He’s a winner, he’s a whiz, a wonder!

He’s about to pull my heart asunder

And I absolutely love the way he dresses 

3. Bona Fide (/ˈbōnə ˌfīd/) - adj. Genuine; real

Can be heard in: "Friend Like Me" - Aladdin (1992)

So don’t you sit there slack-jawed, buggy-eyed
I’m here to answer all your midday prayers
You got me bona fide certified
You’ve got a genie for your chargé d'affaires

It's worth noting that Genie pronounces bona fide a little bit differently than I'm accustomed to:

4. Calumny (/ˈkaləmnē/) - n. The making of false and defamatory statements in order to damage someone's reputation; slander

Can be heard in: "Out There" - The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

Out there they’ll revile you as a monster
Out there they will hate and scorn and jeer

Why invite their calumny and consternation?

5. Chargé d'affaires - n. A subordinate diplomat who substitutes for an absent ambassador or minister

Can be heard in: "Friend like Me" - Aladdin (1992)

So don’t you sit there slack-jawed, buggy-eyed
I’m here to answer all your midday prayers
You got me bona fide certified
You’ve got a genie for your chargé d'affaires

6. Consternation (/ˌkänstərˈnāSHən/) - n. feelings of anxiety or dismay, typically at something unexpected

Can be heard in: "Out There" - The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

Out there they’ll revile you as a monster
Out there they will hate and scorn and jeer

Why invite their calumny and consternation?

7. Coterie (/ˈkōtərē/) - n. A small group of people with shared interests and tastes, esp. one that is exclusive of other people

Can be heard in: "Prince Ali" - Aladdin (1992)

Now try your best to stay calm

Brush up your Sunday shalom

And come to meet his spectacular coterie 

8. Genuflect (/ˈjenyəˌflekt/) - v. lower one's body briefly by bending one knee to the ground, typically in worship or as a sign of respect

Can be heard in: "Prince Ali" - Aladdin (1992)

Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa

Genuflect, show some respect

Down on one knee

9. Nabob (/ˈnābäb/) - n. a person of conspicuous wealth or high status; a Muslim official or governor under the Mogul empire

Can be heard in: "Friend Like Me" - Aladdin (1992)

Mr. Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three
I’m on the job you big nabob

10. Nom de Plume (/ˌnäm də ˈplo͞om/) - n. a pen name; an alias 

Can be heard in: "Prince Ali" - Aladdin (1992)

One jump ahead of the slow pokes

One skip ahead of my doom

Next time gonna use a nom de plume

This is by no means an exhaustive list! Stay tuned for more!

I'd Like to Begin with a Quote

I am making my glorious return to the blogosphere (assuming that blogosphere is a word. If it isn't, you're welcome. Now it is). My old Xanga blog is too full of angst and tragedy to be of any use to me now. I also have no idea what's going on at Xanga anymore.

Wait. Is Xanga still around?

Excuse me for a second...

It is! Fancy that!

While I plot and ponder more interesting things to say, I'll leave you with a few words from one of my favorite movies:

"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men."